I’ve just managed to take the chicken off the heat, and then turn the hob on under the dinner plate…(cue burned plate, and alarming sizzling noise) leaving the veggies blissfully unaware that
a. the heat was meant for them in their cooking pot
b. I nearly set fire to my kitchen
Hmm…should I actually be blogging now? Multi-tasking doesn’t seem to working for me at the moment!
I USED to be a capable human being whose chances of burning stuff/ forgetting stuff/ walking into the kitchen and saying “now what did I come in here for?” was pretty slim. It seems I am joining the ranks of mums who have no idea where they’ve put anything except for their baby… ‘mumnesia’.
There is evidence that this phenomenon is not an urban myth… although the evidence is mixed.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/3335107/Mumnesia-is-a-medical-fact-say-scientists.html
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/article6838728.ece
The weird thing is, that it isn’t related to lack of sleep in my case, as so far, the little one is kicking away quietly inside my uterus during the wee small hours, instead of kicking up a storm outside it…
So what’s it for?
I’m not sure of the evolutionary purpose…perhaps to make us forget the pain of childbirth, but I guess a better question to ask is:
What does it mean for me?
I find myself ‘speaking unkindly’ to myself and being cross with myself for spending ten minutes trying to lock the door by turning the key the wrong way in the lock, whilst Leo, my son watches my increasing levels of anger in amazement…., so I guess this is a chance to be kind to myself, forgiving and gentle.
I think it also reminds me that these external things really don’t matter that much, that the successes and achievements of baby-free life are just my ego’s way of validating itself… all this is stuff that mumnesia is helping me to let go of ahead of time.
Letting go ahead of time
I remember when Leo arrived I used to get to the end of the day and feel that I’d done nothing.. I mean nothing, apart from being with a small being, and travelling from one end of the day to another.
The trick for me, is to see past what has or what hasn’t been done, to what is really important. I have cared for another life, I have been present, and have done what I could. And that is O.K.
So, back to mumnesia, it is helping me to remember that I am not my achievements, my appearance, my actions or my ability to find stuff in my home…. I just am. And that is going to stand me in good stead for when the baby arrives and the s*** hits the nappy.
If I can embrace this beingness with an open heart, I know I will be much happier when baby number 2 arrives.
Latest book purchase OR I keep Amazon going single-handed…
To that end, I have also just bought a book:
“What Mothers do, especially when it looks like Nothing” by Naomi Stadlen. I read some reviews on Amazon and it seems to describe the ‘beingness’ of motherhood, something I struggled with last time around. I really look forward to reading it, and will share what I learn from it. So, thanks mumnesia for helping me get ready, ahead of time, for the many days of being that await me.
Err! what can I say, I have a tens machine if you need it.
The beginning is that its just the start. The Mummy Whisperer says some really helpful things about all these feelings, what I remember the most is that the little person who is coming into your life is there to fill a little space created especially for it. it will just fit in. She can probably tell you a lot more, and I may have interpreted it all wrong (check out her blog).
All will be fine and you will have achieved something very special with your days, nurturing a little life and making your family happy xxx